How Practicing “the Virtues” Heals Us

The good life is found in the small practice of universal virtues that align the body, mind, and spirit.

After talking to several people about the previous blog, Dr. Gene Sharratt, in particular; it occurred to me that I needed to remind myself and others of the impact practicing the “virtues” (an "old-fashioned" word to some) like love, joy, hope, wisdom, compassion, gratitude, has on us - especially from a biological perspective.

Science and spirituality are now telling the same story: practicing those virtues, our highest strengths—don’t just make us better people. They make us biologically healthier, emotionally more resilient, and as I've previously mentioned, more socially connected.

Perhaps it would help as a reminder to spell out each one and note their positive biological “side-effects.”  It gives me a thrill to see how these positive aspects of humanity make us healthy. I also thought I might add an easy way to activate each one of these virtues within us. Let’s start with the biggie – love.

Love. Love is the ultimate regulator. When we love—through affection, generosity, or presence—our bodies release oxytocin, a hormone that lowers blood pressure, decreases cortisol (stress hormone), and activates the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of our body responsible for rest, digestion, and healing.

Try this: Look into the eyes of someone you love and say, “I’m so glad you’re in my life.” Even short moments of connection calm the nervous system.

Joy. Joy is the fuel for resilience. Joy triggers the release of dopamine, our brain’s “reward” chemical, and serotonin, which stabilizes mood. Joy improves vagal tone, the flexibility of our nervous system to shift from stress to safety—a biological trait linked to longevity.

Try this: Laugh hard. Dance. Savor a beautiful sunset with a friend. Listen to music you like.

Forgiveness. Forgiveness balances our blood pressure. Chronic resentment keeps the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) in overdrive. Forgiveness shifts us toward the relaxation response, lowering heart rate, improving sleep, and enhancing immune function. Now I’ve written before that forgiveness may take a while.  You don’t need to rush into it if you are not ready.  You can just consider that you may want to do this.

Try this: Place your hand over your heart and whisper, “I forgive you”—to yourself or another. BTW, even imagined forgiveness reduces stress. 

Kindness. Acts of kindness release oxytocin, increase serotonin, and boost endorphins—creating a biological “helper’s high.” Kindness strengthens social bonds, which are one of the strongest predictors of long-term health.

Try this: Do something kind without expecting anything in return. Hold a door. Offer a compliment. Your heart (literally) gets stronger.

Gratitude. Gratitude increases dopamine and serotonin and helps shift brain activity from the amygdala (fear center) to the prefrontal cortex (reason and reflection). It’s a natural antidote to anxiety and depression.

Try this: Each night, write down 3 things you’re thankful for. (Duh, how many times have we heard this?) But think of it this way…gratitude turns your mind into a sanctuary.

Compassion. True compassion—not pity, but shared presence and understanding—improves vagal tone, increases empathy-related brain activity, and supports healing. It protects caregivers from burnout and encourages long-term well-being.

Try this: Sit with someone in silence. Say, “I’m here with you.” No fixing required—just presence. Later on you may be able to discern some other action to take.

Humility. Humility calms the inner critic which often makes us anxious and depressed and opens the door to high performance and relational repair. It reduces the physiological stress response, increases cooperation, and allows us to stay open and teachable.

Try this: Admit it when you're wrong, even in a small way. (Uh-oh.  This one may not be so simple for some of us.) Humility lowers barriers and blood pressure.

Wisdom. Wisdom blends intellect with compassion. It helps us pause, consider, and respond with intention. Practicing wisdom improves decision-making and moderates impulsive reactivity in the brain’s stress centers.

Try this: Before reacting, ask, “What would the wisest version of me do? ”Wisdom creates space for better choices and deeper peace.

Hope. Hope activates brain circuits linked to motivation, goal setting, and resilience. It supports healthy immune function, improves pain tolerance, and lowers the risk of chronic disease.

Try this: Imagine your life six  months from now. See yourself living a good life in some way. Think of one step you could take toward it. Hope isn’t naïve—it’s neurobiologically powerful.

Each of these virtues works on multiple levels:

• Biologically, they calm inflammation, increase healing, and strengthen resilience.

• Psychologically, they build meaning, self-worth, and emotional balance.

• Socially, they strengthen trust, deepen belonging, and reduce division.

• Spiritually, they align us with “Goodness” as perceived universally.

  
  

Every virtuous act is good medicine for ourselves and for others.

Now here’s a little practice John and I do on the days we do yoga (a couple of times each week). 

After yoga, we give a little prayerful bow of acknowledgement to the other. (It may sound a bit weird but we have been doing it for at least 30 years so it’s normal to us.)

We say, “Namaste”.  For us, it’s a time to just be still, look into the eyes of the other.  See the other person we’ve been going through life with for over fifty years. 

Then we respectfully bow a bit again and say, “I see good in you.”  Prayerful bow.  “I see God in you.”  Bow.  “You bless me.” Bow.  “I love you.”

One time we were having a bit of chaos, a stress out, at our house while three of our grandchildren were visiting. 

“What should we do?" I asked exasperated. “We’re getting all sideways with each other and it's making me feel bad.” (I can't remember my exact words, but something to that effect. Add some emotion as you imagine it.)

One of the kids took her finger out of her mouth and said, “Let’s namaste each other.”  Which we did. And it worked! We all relaxed and even became playful.

Then one of the gkids put his hands up to his eyes like they were binoculars...

“Sometimes you have to look really close to see the good in each other.”  What truth! I think about that a lot.

And that’s a little path to practicing the virtues.  Namaste people (in our minds or aloud in your own way). See their strengths and goodness.

"Look for the good"…as my friend, Gene Sharratt, says as his continual reminder for how to live a good life.  Seek and find those virtues in ourselves and in others. As Gene also says, "We find what we're looking for."

That’s an effective way to help our highest strengths and virtues grow. Stay focused. Look for the good. In yourself, in others, in life! Do a bit of good. Every drop is good medicine.

Here's an additional virtuous healing practice from a reader (thank you, Rufus!) using the work of organizational psychologist Adam Grant and Jane Dutton.

It's called a contribution journal. You could do this several ways. One idea is to bring to mind some way you have tried to make a positive impact. Think about what you have done, how you have contributed in some small or large way to making the world a better place or how you have supported someone (Grant mentions maybe you sent a funny meme to a friend going through a tough time). Writing it down seems to make more of an impact. Dutton even has people write a letter to themselves talking about their contributions...particularly the ones they hope to make in the future.

This process of noticing the good in yourself seems to release those chemicals that pump up hope and motivation and your ability to cope with pain. It improves your health and boosts well-being. Or you could even think of a contribution you have made in the past that you hope will make a difference in the world or someone's life some day.

How might we practice “the virtues” together, even a little bit, see the goodness in ourselves and others and in our lives, to be healthier and journey together to the Good Life?

A couple of teen boys in my church started sharing pictures of things in life they found beautiful. One always sends pics of the sky. He sometimes says, "the world is so beautiful." He's told me several times, "there's beauty everywhere. And asked me, "Why can't people see it?" His pics and comments make me go look outside again.

The other boy (they are brothers) usually sends pics of flowers or vegetables. They've taught me to pay more attention. I think to myself, "By God, if teen boys can find beauty and good in the world, surely I can up my game! Here are few of their photos.

John captured the water lily at Mud Lake, Lake Wenatchee so we could share with the boys....