Go Ahead, Eat Your Ice Cream

"Our goal should not be to 'outlive' as many people as possible. Instead, the goal should be to live a healthy and fulfilling life." — Dr. Ezekiel J. Emanuel

For years we've been told that the secret to living longer lies in the next superfood, miracle supplement, complicated exercise program, or longevity hack. We count our steps, measure our sleep, worry about carbohydrates, and wonder whether we should be taking another vitamin. The whole thing can actually stress us out! Not a good life.

I liked it when Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel recently wrote about us missing the point.

His newest book, Eat Your Ice Cream, is not really about dessert. It is about refusing to let the pursuit of health keep us from living. Wellness, he says, is a means to an end—not the end itself. We are not trying to become the oldest people in the cemetery. We are trying to build lives so full of purpose, curiosity, generosity, and joy that, when someone offers us a bowl of ice cream, we smile, say "yes," and enjoy it without guilt.

It's not your eyes if this pic looks, blurry. I'm experimenting with AI.

What surprised me most was this: of the six rules he gives for a long and healthy life, the one he emphasizes most isn't diet or exercise.

It's people. Socializing. Connecting. Waving. Eating together.

Again and again, Emanuel points to research showing that relationships are one of the greatest predictors of living longer, thinking more clearly, avoiding depression, and recovering from illness. In interviews about the book, he has said that when people think about wellness they immediately think about eating well, exercising, and sleeping. What they forget is social engagement. Yet loneliness, he says, is one of the greatest threats to our well-being. At this point, we've heard that a million times. But just keep in mind that this is...AGAIN, a respected doctor giving you an important prescription for living a healthy life.

One of my favorite examples is his suggestion to host a simple dinner party.

At first, it sounds almost too simple.

But think about everything that goes into having a dinner party. You plan a meal. Shop for groceries. Cook. Set the table. Welcome guests. Tell stories. Listen. Laugh. Perhaps argue a little. Wash dishes together. The meal nourishes your body, but the evening nourishes your heart and also your brain and spirit.

Health isn't only found in the food.

It's found in the friendships.

Reading this, I couldn't help but think how fortunate we are to live in a small town.

We don't have to search very far for opportunities to build the kind of relationships Emanuel is talking about.

Every Tuesday and Thursday I see it in our Cashmere SAIL (Stay Active and Independent for Life) exercise classes. Yes, people become stronger and steadier. But something even more important happens. Friends encourage one another. Someone notices when a classmate is missing. Birthdays are celebrated. Laughter echoes through the room. Exercise becomes the reason to come, but friendship is another reason people keep returning.

The same thing happens at Tai Chi or line dancing or SAIL at the Wenatchee Senior Center. People arrive hoping to improve their balance and leave feeling more connected.

Take a walk with a friend up what we call the Cell Tower (Nahahum Canyon Radio Tower Route) trail that leads up to a small communication site sitting on a bench directly above the town. The conversation often lasts longer than the hike. Before you know it, you've solved a problem, shared a memory, or simply enjoyed the quiet beauty of another autumn morning together. Or you've met a regular friend as they go up and you come down.  It's one of the highlights of John's Monday, Wednesday, Friday routines. 

Or stop by the weekly Community Meal in Cashmere. Now that is a happening place. Sometimes the Methodists are cooking, sometimes the Baptists, sometimes the Seventh Day Adventists, sometimes the Catholics, sometimes Kiwanis, sometimes Dryden Improvement Club, sometimes a bunch of neighbors. Imagine what all goes into planning and executing that dinner party!

And for sure there will be some happy birthday singing. Some people come because they like the food. Others come because they like the company. Many relish the pleasure of both.

That is one of the hidden gifts of living in a small town. Sorry big city folks.

We run into one another at the grocery store. We wave from across the street. We recognize familiar faces at church, football games, coffee shops, and school concerts. These ordinary encounters become extraordinary over time. They remind us that we belong.

I know that right now it is blazing hot here, but Autumn is coming...it may be the best season to rediscover that gift of living in a small town where we grow fruit and call ourselves the apple capital of the world.

I see the apples are coloring right now. The mornings will begin to invite long walks. Soups will begin to simmer on the stove. Football games fill Friday nights. The leaves will change and remind us that life moves in seasons—and a season for gathering has arrived.

Perhaps that's why Emanuel called his book Eat Your Ice Cream.

He isn't telling us to ignore our health. He's telling us not to become so obsessed with staying alive that we forget to live. Share the dessert. Linger over coffee. Invite the neighbors. Join the class. Walk the trail. Sit at the community table.

In the end, the sweetest part of life may not be eating the ice cream, though I must say both John and I take great pleasure out of eating ice cream.

But truly the real joy may be the people with whom we share our ice cream.

Three ideas form (and maybe you) to try:

• Invite another couple or a neighbor over for a simple dinner. Chili, soup, or apple pie is plenty. Conversation is the real meal. (OR to watch a movie together, just pop some popcorn.)

• Commit to one weekly gathering where you'll see the same people—SAIL, Tai Chi, line dancing, church, hiking, or the Cashmere Community Meal. Consistency builds friendships.

• As you enjoy the beauty of the outdoors, leave your phone in your pocket. Be fully present with the person beside you. Those moments are an investment in your health.

How might you journey to the Good Life by not letting the pursuit of health keep you from missing out on life and go ahead and enjoy life, eat your ice cream. 

Well, maybe you can still create community even in larger towns and maybe you only need to start with a wave like this little guy did. DO WATCH, click here, if you want to be inspired.

And I just took a chance a reached out to a man I had read about who seemed to have an interesting real life, asked him to have a cup of coffee with John and me. Two hours later, we were still intrigued. (One of the big takeaways? He said though he had been a minister and mental health professional, he only began to understand himself a little bit when he got into his eighties. He made me really look forward to the next decade!)

By the way, if you take the doctor literally (which I doubt was Dr. Emanuel's intention) my grandson claims that the very best ice cream cone can be had at the Doane's Valley Pharmacy fountain in Cashmere. However, he's also had some very good scoops at Plain Grocery Store. They put ice cream way down into the cone he says.