Response to Terror? Not Fight, Not Flight, Not Freeze...

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. B. C. Forbes, Scottish-American journalist and author

My neighbor, "ol farmr" his license plates reads, showed me an incredible way to shift out of our instinctive emotions like fear, anger, sadness, worry, confusion, and grief reactivity to a life-giving response. One that makes life worth living and the world a good place.

If you are in the Cashmere area, you have a chance to meet him and hear about his incredibly continuing journey this Sunday. But first let me share what I wrote about him

in April of 2014 for The Good Life magazine:

People are pretty predictable when it comes to terror. 

We have a short behavioral repertoire that seems to be instinctive.  Our survival mechanism is often called “fight or flight.” Sometimes “freeze” is added.

A local, well-known farmer, may have found a more productive way to respond.

September 11th, 2001, was a terrifying day for most Americans.  One of those Americans was Cashmere orchardist, Randy Smith.  Smith is on a national agricultural committee which was meeting four blocks from the White House when the twin towers were hit. No one seemed to know what was happening.  Washington, D.C. absolutely emptied according to Smith.

Smith wanted nothing more than to come home, but flights were cancelled, no rental cars were available.  Life was suddenly very precarious and precious.

As Smith recounts the events following one of the most traumatic moments of his life, and probably our collective lives, tears well up.  He can barely speak of how profoundly meaningful it felt to sing Amazing Grace when he finally was able to get back home among church friends and family. Smith knows the event fundamentally changed him.

Smith started thinking about what he could do to help – what he could do to make a better world.  He had no real idea, but he was ready to do something. Then, about a year later, an opportunity dropped into his lap.

Smith was asked to host a delegation from the Central “Stans” (including Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan) through a contact he made when he was on the Ag Forestry Leadership Foundation. Smith put together a tour of North Central Washington with no vision of where it would ultimately go, but hoping for some real connection with the people of “the Stans.”

Fast forward twelve years later.  Smith has brought in countless colleagues, Rotarians, and acquaintances with certain types of expertise who have collaborated with him and sometimes travelled with him. His primary focus has been Kyrgyzstan.

Smith has evolved an idea for connection around a “farmer to farmer” theme. This has allowed him to continue to deal with changing governments and high ranking officials.

Governors and diplomats from foreign provinces have sat beside Smith and his friends at Smith’s dining room table creatively imagining and planning how they might work together. Smith has become an expert on the “Stans” region – learning about people’s values, hopes, and problems.  Over these years he’s cultivated, planted, and nurtured a crop of friendship and goodwill through reading, listening, studying, and through the experiences of bringing people here and going there.

Successful farmers, like Smith, know how to observe, be consistent, diligent, and patient. A good harvest takes a lot of time and attention.

One of Smith’s major desires is to help the ordinary people begin their own Rotary clubs. Smith is a long-time Rotarian and found that the people he hosted were fascinated by the idea of business people getting together. Smith feels that Rotary clubs would allow the people stability and mutual purpose despite ethnic and religious differences and common governmental collapses.

Let’s pause the story here. It is worth our while to consider how very unusual this story is in terms of human action potential.

Somehow Smith was able to free himself from that old stimulus-response instinctive behavior to terror. He chose none of those survival behaviors of fight, flight, or freeze.  Instead he tried something unfamiliar to most of us when threatened.

Smith "farmed." He cultivated. It was strange, confusing, challenging, enlightening, and profoundly meaningful for him.

It is fitting that a farmer figured out that we could be different, that we do not need to be slaves to our cave world programming. We can shake ourselves loose and be creative.

This April [most anytime] is a fine time to begin learning more about farming.  Look around.  Maybe you can see a metaphorical messy, wild thicket that worries you. Instead of denying it, being paralyzed by it, or instead of attacking it; try a different, more creative behavior, that could possibly make the planet a more habitable place.

Experiment with some listening, observing, learning, tending, befriending, cultivating, and nurturing.  Be patient.  You may even want to listen to the old autobiographical hymn, "Amazing Grace," written by John Newton after his ship was badly battered by a storm.

You may find that you, too, are capable of behaving differently to terror, fear, anxiety, or worry. Maybe you also will find that you are able to respond with a fourth “f” action – not to fight, not to flee, not freeze, but to farm.

How might we journey to The Good Life by learning that we are not bound by our instinctive behaviors to our primal and tribal emotions?

Randy Smith's example shows me how patience and nurturing can work in the long run. He shows me what it might look like. He reminds me that we're all in this together. I need that. Maybe you do too. He will be speaking at the Cashmere Community Church during their regular service time, 11:00, August 24th. It's part of the Church's on-going Stone Soup Sunday, each 4th Sunday of the month when lay people share ways to create community and love their neighbor, even our enemies. Come, bring a friend. Be a part of creating a vibrant local and global community and... enjoy learning how to plant peace in ourselves and others.

 And for 2 minute or so beautiful little video put out by the heart-math folks on the power of kindness

And kudos to my friend who has a reunion with old friends of both red and purple politics. Her main intention? Listen, listen, listen. Not trying to agree. Trying to understand. Luckily she is a curious and courageous person. She'll sit in her common humanity and and come away wiser and stronger and kinder - a lot of good stuff I am betting.

Also an update from a wise friend and blog reader who reminded himself to take the high ground in a transaction that seemed to go south. He got the whole thing off his mind by sending the other a note acknowledging that something went wrong and wishing the other well. The man responded immediately; they revisited the situation, took care of business, and are now in a deeper relationship. "If you want to be happy, practice compassion..."