Reclaiming Ourselves as “We the People”
- drjunedarling1
- Jul 4
- 4 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
How, exactly, do we resolve dilemmas that tempt us to choose either this or that and instead hold the tension long enough to let a “third thing” emerge? Parker Palmer, Healing the Heart of Democracy: The Courage to Create a Politics Worthy of the Human Spirit
As fireworks light up the sky, grilled burgers and picnics are shared, and people line the streets for parades around the country, July 4th stirs in me something deeper than just a fun day.
It raises timeless questions about what it means to be free, to belong, and to live the “good life” in a nation of immense diversity and shared promise. This year, as we celebrate the 4th of July, it’s worth asking: how are we doing—not just as individuals, but as a community, as a democracy?
In recent years, many have felt a kind of soul-weariness about the state of our nation. The shouting matches, the polarization, the mistrust—it’s easy to despair. But educator and author Parker J. Palmer offers us a different lens through which to see our collective life.
In Palmer’s powerful book Healing the Heart of Democracy (updated in 2024), he writes, “Democracy is not so much about politics as it is about the human heart—the capacity to hold tension, to see truth in competing points of view, and to stay present in the midst of conflict.” I love that! That gives me a lot to work on right there.
Democracy isn’t just a system of government according to Palmer. It’s a way of living together. It’s built on certain habits of the heart—those inner convictions and values that shape how we relate to others: for example, respect, compassion, listening, and humility.
True freedom in my book doesn’t mean “I get to do whatever I want.” It means we are free to choose the common good—to build communities where all can flourish. That might mean choosing to listen before reacting. It might mean asking not just what benefits me, but what benefits us. It might mean investing in local schools, showing up at town hall meetings, planting a garden, or caring for a neighbor who thinks—and votes—differently. Bottom line… the good life is a shared life.
Palmer goes so far as to suggest that we think of democracy as a spiritual practice! As a way of opening our hearts to each other. He suggests five habits of the heart that can help heal our public life:
WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER – that’s my own caps added.
No matter what our differences are, we share a common humanity and a common destiny. From wildfires to water shortages, from economic uncertainty to caring for elders, our well-being is tied up with each other’s.
We must develop an appreciation of the value of “otherness.”
True community does not require sameness. My husband and I aren’t even always on the “same page”. And it’s made some times tough in our marriage AND absolutely better. Our differences have ultimately been “a blessing”. Strong communities thrive on diversity—of race, thought, religion, and culture.
We must cultivate the capacity to hold tension creatively.
This is probably the hardest one. Democracy is not about erasing differences but holding them long enough to find a greater truth. That takes patience, courage, and a willingness to be changed. I have seen it work, however, with groups who seemed like they could never work it out. The final product was better than any of us could have created alone.
We must generate a sense of personal voice and agency.
Our voices matter. Even when we feel like we just want others to figure it out when life gets complicated. We need to remember that we shape the world we live in. Sometimes we leave it to others to even do the voting and just wait and see who others choose. We need to change that and consider that we do indeed have a part in shaping the world we live in.
We must strengthen our capacity to create community.
This is where my commitment especially lies. Real community doesn’t just happen. It’s built slowly, through relationships, shared meals, honest conversations, and acts of service. It includes going to those community meals, volunteering to help, showing up vulnerably and with humility in conversations.
This Fourth of July, imagine trading the red-blue divide for something deeper. Bigger. Better. The American experiment has always been messy, contested, and unfinished. But it has also always been held together by everyday people who choose to show up.
Consider the veterans who build homes for other veterans. The teachers who stay late to mentor kids. The neighbors who disagree about politics but still share tomatoes from their gardens. That’s the heart of democracy. That’s the good life! Connected, big, meaningful.
How might it be for us to do some real patriotic work this July, as we light our sparklers and sing “America The Beautiful”, to also light something within—a real commitment to live from the heart; to care more, to judge less, to listen longer, to act on behalf of one another…and journey together to the Good Life as “we the people”?
Here is one thing John and I are committed to - our weekly community meal. It's all about creating community and food helps! Here are some of the many who have helped in creating community:
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