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“What's the single worst daily habit for your brain? Lack of connection. The single best daily habit for brain health? Connection.”—David Perlmutter Connections are good for the brain; for one thing, they make us feel safe I recently watched a YouTube conversation between David Perlmutter, a neurologist and bestselling author (Perlmutter has a new book), and Mark Hyman, a physician and prominent voice in functional medicine talk about brain health. For most of the discussion,

“The kingdom of God is among you.”— Luke 17:21 Over the past few months, people kept telling me, “You really need to read Theo of Golden.” I am envisioning Cashmere as a "Golden" Community. Everything you can imagine is real. One friend mentioned it over coffee. A few weeks later someone else brought it up. Then another. I finally bought the novel, started reading it, and, to be perfectly honest, wondered what everyone was talking about. Nothing dramatic seemed to happen. The

"Our goal should not be to 'outlive' as many people as possible. Instead, the goal should be to live a healthy and fulfilling life." — Dr. Ezekiel J. Emanuel For years we've been told that the secret to living longer lies in the next superfood, miracle supplement, complicated exercise program, or longevity hack. We count our steps, measure our sleep, worry about carbohydrates, and wonder whether we should be taking another vitamin. The whole thing can actually stress us out!

“It's a little embarrassing that after 45 years of research & study, the best advice I can give people is to be a little kinder to each other.” Aldous Huxley That quote is one that stays with me constantly. Huxley experimented with everything under the sun. He was a thinker, a prolific writer, and that was his quote. I thought of this as I happened to look through my past posts. Most of my blogs get about 100 to maybe a high of 400 reads. But I had one that got over a th

"Each of you brings something unique and beautiful to our family, and together, we create a tapestry of connection, care, and unbreakable unity." (author unknown) This morning I was feeling puny. As I listened in to my thoughts, clearly they were not helping. Catastrophizing. It goes...this-thing-is-not good-and-this-not-good-thing-means-more-not-good-things-are-going-to-happen-even-worse-not-good-things. It took a bit of effort to pull myself out of the downward spiral.

“Connecting with others in conversation is one of the simplest ways to improve your well-being, yet people routinely avoid it.” “A simple conversation can reveal that strangers are far less strange than we imagine.” Dr. Nicolas Epley Yesterday I was enjoying a belated birthday lunch with two friends at Pybus Market in Wenatchee, one of those lovely lingering lunches where nobody seems eager to leave. One of my friends had brought flowers to share. As we were finishing up, a

“It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.” Andre Gide, French writer and Nobel Prize winner who explored authenticity, freedom, and the dangers of living according to others’ expectations Though the Gide’s words land starkly for me, they point toward a tender truth: much of human flourishing depends on being known. That thought sits at the heart of psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky’s beautiful work, especially in her recent book with Harry Reis,

“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer them with love.” — Mahatma Gandhi It happened at our simple and popular community dinner Thursday night. The Seventh Day Adventists served their signature vegetarian “haystacks.” Usually it’s an easy-going, if a little rowdy, environment. That’s how these things often begin—not in lecture halls or debates, but at long tables where people come carrying their fully human selves. John had sat down with a young woman and her

“The most effective communicators aren’t the people who talk the most. They are the people who are best at understanding what kind of conversation is happening.”— Charles Duhigg, from Supercommunicators One evening, Charles Duhigg came home from work frustrated. Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist who has written for The New York Times and authored several books about human behavior, had spent the day struggling with a difficult boss. When he walked through the door

“People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others.” — Blaise Pascal How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change. (Old joke, I use it a lot.) Several days ago one of my granddaughters announced, with the calm confidence only a young person can possess, that she intended to drive about fifteen hours by herself ac

Why empathy, not intimidation, keeps the crown “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”— John Dalberg-Acton “It is much safer to be feared than loved,” wrote Niccolò Machiavelli in The Prince . Nearly five centuries later, Robert Greene revived the same spirit in The 48 Laws of Power : Crush your enemy totally. Conceal your intentions. Keep others in suspended terror. It’s dramatic. It feels strong. It sells. But science tells a very different story.

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." Dale Carnegie In the last blog, I wrote about the Velveteen Rabbit and becoming real. Most of you have read the book. We remember how the Velveteen Rabbit did not become real by striving, impressing, or polishing himself into perfection. He became real because someone loved him — long enough, steadily enough, honestly enou

“Vocation does not come from willfulness. It comes from listening.”— Parker J. Palmer For many years, my father did not like Santa. Nor December. Not even the Christmas season. He was a bit of a Grinch. But not because his heart was two sizes too small. It was something different. He loved Jesus with a steady, serious devotion. He was a minister. He believed Christmas mattered. And because it mattered so much, he felt protective of it. Anything that felt like a distraction

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are. Anaïs Nin I wrote most of this blog in the past, but wanted to re-visit it because first, John and I have just celebrated an anniversary, fifty two years of marriage. It’s a big marker for us. We lived through several renditions of ourselves along side of each other. Second, because relationships, both struggles and successes are the basis of most all our human problems as well as the primary route to flourishing. Ver

“We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny.”— Martin Luther King Jr. The air is a bit...

How, exactly, do we resolve dilemmas that tempt us to choose either this or that and instead hold the tension long enough to let a “third...

“We often find that the harder we try to get rid of emotions and thoughts, the stronger they become….” ― Richard C. Schwartz, No Bad...

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock." ...

Instead of asking "what's the matter with you?" ask patients "what matters to you?" Dr. Sam Everington, Founding Social Prescribing...

“We’re all going to die, all of us. What a circus! That alone should make us love each other, but it doesn’t.” -Charles Bukowski Maybe...