The Seven Days of Joy Snacks Experiment (and a new path to well-being)

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.”— Henri Nouwen, Dutch Catholic priest, writer, theologian, professor

A couple of mornings ago John and I walked down our longish driveway.  Even though it’s pretty hot right now, the morning hours are perfect.  We were checking out the elderberry bushes, identifying some new baby pine trees, noticing the sunflowers turned toward their source of energy, identifying a few birds, breathing fresh air, and being grateful that our valley has no smoke from wildfires.

We noticed someone up the hill at our neighbor’s house.  We weren’t quite sure it was Randy.  John suggested that we check it out.  I was reluctant that we might be imposing, but we did it.

It turned out to be the highlight of my day.  My motivation and energy spiked. We looked at Randy's yard, discussed how the peaches which he shares with the neighborhood were ripening, shared updates on trips and family.  The small talk turned into some meaningful life concerns as well.

As we talked another neighbor saw us, turned her car around, and came to chime in with some news.  We haven’t seen her to talk to her for ages. Noticing how good I felt after such a short – maybe ten minute conversation, I was reminded of the Big Joy Project.  You may have seen some blurbs about it in the news lately.

Researchers came up with seven short interventions, they called them joy snacks, which required about five to ten minutes to do. They sent the ideas out via email - one behavior to do each day. Over 17,000 people (a mix of ages and socio-economics) from 169 countries and territories participated. The researchers hit their target. People did get happier.

Here’s basically how the suggested interventions went:

Monday: Reawaken Awe. Take five minutes today to let something stop you in your tracks—in the best way.

Watch the way the sun catches the leaves. Listen to a piece of music that stirs you. Watch a baby laugh or a hawk glide overhead. Let yourself be amazed by how grand and mysterious this world really is.

Awe opens us up. It shrinks our egos in the most lovely way and reminds us we’re part of something bigger. Many consider it a spiritual experience.

How to do it? Researchers claim it is easier than we think. Notice. Pause. Let yourself be moved. The acronym sometimes used for how to have AWE is (pay) Attention, Wait (let it sink in), Expand your experience (savor)

Tuesday: Gather Gratitude. Joy often begins with noticing what’s already good.

Make a list of eight things—people, moments, smells, sounds—that you’re grateful for today. Big or small, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you feel it.

Want to deepen the joy? Pick one person from your list and write them a short note. You don’t even have to send it—but if you do, all the better.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough. Like awe, thankfulness and gratitude are also often considered spiritual emotions.

Wednesday: Offer a Kind Gesture. Be someone’s reason to smile. Even a tiny act of kindness has the power to shift your mood and someone else’s day.

Smile at a stranger. Let someone merge in traffic without grumbling. Text a friend just to say you’re thinking of them.

When we give—our time, our patience, our presence—we grow a little lighter ourselves. And of course, kindness can be thought of a religious behavior with roots in compassion.

Thursday: Share Someone’s Joy. When a friend shares good news, how do you respond?

Today, be intentional about celebrating someone else’s happiness. Whether it’s your child scoring a goal or your coworker finishing a project, respond with genuine delight.

Cheering for others lifts both spirits. Joy shared is joy doubled.

The word compassion comes from the Latin com-pati, to suffer with.  But the way John and I practice compassion involves being alert to those who suffer AND paying attention to those who are celebrating. 

The Latin for celebrating with is called comgaudium which I have never heard anyone use. So we bundle everything up into the practice of compassion.  Walking alongside each other in both sorrow AND joy! Paul said it first in the book of Romans When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow. (Notice how research often confirms some of our wisdom literature and what our grandmothers told us.)

Friday: Reconnect with What Matters. Before the week ends, pause and ask yourself: What values guide my life?

Love? Fairness? Integrity? Compassion? Take a moment to jot down the top one or two that feel most important to you. Then reflect—how are you living those values today? (This too is called for in the wisdom literature.)

When we live in alignment with what matters, we walk with more peace and purpose.

Saturday: Reflect on Your Ripple. You matter more than you know.

Today, reflect on how your presence makes a difference. What’s one way you’ve brought goodness into someone’s life recently? This is similar the the idea of a contribution journal which some seem to think works even better than a gratitude journal in terms of how it affects your well-being.

I noticed this just yesterday with a young autistic man who has told me a story several time of bringing joy to someone who felt left out. He did this by just sitting beside her and saying hello at a function. He had been anxious himself about going and was delighted that he could help her.

Don’t underestimate your impact. Even a kind word, a listening ear, or a simple presence can change the emotional weather in a room.

You are a quiet force for good in a noisy world.

Sunday: Flip the Script. Think of a recent challenge—something frustrating, disappointing, or just plain hard.

Now, gently ask: Did anything good come from that? Did I learn something? Grow in some way? Deepen my compassion?

Seeing silver linings isn’t about denying pain. It’s about giving ourselves permission to find hope inside the hardship. (I would definitely call this a spiritual practice as well.)

I am curious about what happens for me (and to you) when I (we) conscientiously bite off a few joy snacks. (BTW, in the research, the people felt not just happier, but also healthier.)  

Here’s the biggie. This isn’t magic. It’s practice. And the beauty of it? You can come back to any of these “joy snacks” anytime.

Most of us could use a little more sparkle in our step. The news is heavy. Our calendars are packed. And even the happiest among us can sometimes feel like we’re just getting through the day.

But what if we didn’t have to wait for vacations, miracles, or perfect circumstances to feel joy? What if joy is something we can gently practice—in five-minute moments that ripple through our day?

And do notice which joy snacks impact you more or less.  We have different preferences.  Also notice that these actions release a lot of those happy hormones (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins).

Mark your calendar. Let’s start today. See what happens.

How might we journey together to the Good Life by being intentional with our actions aimed at Big Joy.

Now here's a postscript that might also nudge you toward trying these joy snacks out even more. The joy snacks might make your life richer if they are new for you.

If you follow the happiness and well-being research, you know that there have been two dominant schools of thought about how to get happier. One is to have more pleasant experiences, more opportunities to feel positive emotions - that is the hedonic path. Another school of how to live a happy life (in the long run) is the eudaimonic path, the path that is aimed toward meaning and purpose, contribution to something bigger than yourself. It can involve suffering but still brings joy.

Those two schools of thought which were basically laid out by the Greeks many moons ago have converged as of late. Turns out we need both. Some people, however, seem to get more satisfaction from a bit more of one or the other. I've known people who thought life was all about pleasure and having fun...and seemed to do fairly well as long as they did not get caught up in the hedonic treadmill of more money and more stuff. I've also known people who felt that the day was a waste and their entire life was a waste unless it carried a lot of purpose and meaning.

Not too long ago, however, a newish name on the happiness research scene emerged. Shige Oishi. Oishi was a pupil of the first guy brave enough to say, "Hey let's stop only studying what makes people miserable and live bad lives; let's devote research to finding out what makes people more joyful and what helps them live flourishing lives." If you follow the big names, that was Ed Diener, a really wonderful man.

Why I prep what I'm about to say with all that, is so that you can give some credence to what Oishi has been doing. It's been known for some time that this is not the whole story on happiness (pleasure and purpose) or a life well-lived. Oishi has named a third path to happiness and well-being, "the rich life." He began that research after reflecting on his own life. He had meaning, he had pleasure, but something big still seemed to be missing.

The rich life is about growth, curiosity, exploration. It's about trying out new experiences, engaging with diverse ideas and people. It's an expansive life. John and I have noticed this ourselves - the need for growth, for new perspectives, for novel experiences. Oishi invites us to see our lives as unfolding adventures. Not to always aim for safety, familiarity, and ease.

We might get some of that by trying out all of those seven snacks. OR we might need to figure out a way to incorporate a bit of the untrodden and untried into our lives (some caution here, strong introverts seem to get less of a bang out of this path).

John's off following some of that rich life path to well-being right now. He's headed to a meditation retreat. His truck is loaded with a new tent and his old sleeping bag. He's driving on his own to a place he's never been and isn't quite sure where it is in Northern California. He's doing stuff he's never done or not done for years. He has some trepidation and also lots of excitement about what could await him.

As for me, I'd also need to plug in some exercise of some kind. That's been one place where the happiness research could do better in my opinion. The exercise research is out there of course, but needs to be folded into specific interventions.

I'm going to experiment. See what happens. I have read Oishi's research in formal papers, but now he has a new book out (Life in Three Dimensions) which you may be hearing more about in the news. I'm waiting for my copy.

John getting ready for his meditation retreat. Not a meditation shawl which he has no idea what that is, but he's improvising a meditation blanket. Think that's been in the Darling household before my time.

 Have I had any little adventurous twists lately? Does eating seaweed for breakfast count?